Individual Sessions
It can be hard to discern whether or not you need personal counseling. It’s easy to minimize our own issues; we are always weighing the energy, time and financial investment; and it is often intimidating to think about being vulnerable. Yet, when needed, many have found it to be life-changing. Here are some very common reasons to consider therapy:
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If you are overwhelmed in your life and can’t quite keep your head above water
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If you have relationship issues that are incredibly challenging
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If you feel like you don’t really know who you are anymore
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If you’re sad, anxious or depressed in ways that are impacting your life
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If you have bitterness and anger that are consuming you
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If you have a trauma story, or have experienced abuse (see our page here)
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If you want to better yourself, engage in personal growth
These are some of the many reasons clients decide to take the leap of faith and courageously choose increased health for themselves.
In individual therapy, we work on what's important to you. At Lanterns & Light our style of counseling is client-led but highly collaborative--whether it's navigating a transition, or women's issues, or identity formation--we work together to work towards healing. Counseling at first can feel daunting, anxiety producing or scary--that's normal. Over time, the goal is to create something that feels familiar, safe and nurturing–-both within yourself as well as in session. Building a strong therapeutic relationship with a counselor provides you with a touchstone for this tough time, internal resources to move forward, and a trusted support if needed in the future.
$150 per 50 min session
Trauma & Abuse
Some of us will sign up for therapy with full knowledge that we have lived a life that contained significant trauma. Welcome. Much of our professional focus has been on sexual, emotional and physical harm, severe neglect and other forms of trauma. I would be honored to enter into those spaces with you that feel wounded, scary and lonely.
Others of us have the perception that we have never experienced trauma, but are just suffering from a smattering of confusing symptoms and questions. Why do I feel shame in this area? Why does my body react strangely in these situations? Why am I depressed, without real relationships, or feeling flat and unmotivated?
We have all experienced some amount of trauma, just being human and living. The root of your pain may be something so small you’d never think it significant, or it could be something you should have received and never did. Trauma and abuse left unattended always leave clues.
Regardless of how you come, in trauma therapy I will be a curious observer with you, asking questions and working together to collect data. I will help you learn how to listen and trust what your body is telling you. It will always be your best guide.
$150 per 50 min session
I am not equipped to provide crisis care, but can provide referrals to additional levels of support.
Religious Trauma & Spiritual Abuse
When the destruction of trauma or abuse intersects with one’s personal faith, the depth and width of the impact is near catastrophic. It strips those affected of the very critical parts of themselves that they rely on in times of crisis or pain–-their beliefs, values, identity, community and, at times, one's felt sense of sanity.
It can be incredibly difficult to seek out support. Religious trauma and spiritual abuse can come from authority figures within your faith community, but also from fellow congregants, spouses, family, and friends. For those who are questioning, here is list of some experiences that may be familiar:
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Deep or chronic shame around sin, perfection
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Extreme value dichotomies (good/bad, right/wrong)
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Experiences of being unworthy and unloveable
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Inability to care for oneself out of sense of selfishness, lack of boundaries
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Spiritual bypassing--normalizing the denial of anger or fear
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Dismissal of mental health issues due to belief of being solely dependent on God
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Inability to trust one’s intuition, lack of self-trust and self-compassion
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Having been the recipient of conversion therapy
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Shame overshadowing one’s relationship with sexuality (including purity culture)
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Confusion, disorientation and dissociation, feeling of being crazy
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Relationship with authority figures who demanded control or exhibited power over choices, beliefs, values or identity using condemnation, judgment, or idealization
If any of these resonate, I implore you to get support. Religious trauma can be difficult to recognize when you are in the midst. A neutral and objective environment to explore the impact of the experience is key to healing.
$150 per 50 min session
Faith Deconstruction
Faith deconstruction has become a hot topic in today's complicated religious landscape. Despite the common belief that it's an active choice to leave faith institutions, it is typically an uninvited, and often a painful process caused by forces outside the control of the individual. Many would describe it as an experience of great confusion and grief at feeling disrupted and finding themselves uncertain in their beliefs. Beliefs that had formally brought them a great sense of security and belonging. Deconstruction in Christianity, for example, is a studied and respected developmental stage of an individual's faith within learning institutions. And yet, has been shamed as a 'slippery slope' from within church communities, one from which Christians 'will not return'. This doctrine is based on fear and control.
Some common causes of deconstruction are:
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Spiritual abuse or religious trauma (personally experienced or simply witnessed)
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Complicity with sin in the church (racism, patriarchy, misogyny, LGBTQ+ discrimination, etc.)
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Personal pain (grief, loss, etc.)
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Theological contradictions
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Platitudes and easy answers from church leaders
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Strict dismissal or punishment of questions/doubts
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Dissonance between church teachings and actions
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Burnout (especially for pastors)
When we look at these symptoms without anxiety, we can see that deconstruction is simply the process of taking apart and examining an idea, tradition, practice, or belief to determine its truthfulness, usefulness, and impact. Something that we would normally call critical thinking. A deconstruction season is typically the consequence of an “anomaly” in their religious community. It could be a traumatic experience of harm in the church, a self-contradictory religious teaching, or inconsistent praxis from faith institution leaders. It is critical that deconstruction is respected, honored--not shamed or judged--regardless of the journey or outcome.
When there is no freedom in religion to question, to doubt, to explore and to evolve, there is
no healthy faith present. Deconstruction can be a wounding process if not done with support and encouragement. It often includes an identity crisis, or incredible disorientation. Sadly, in rigid religious spaces it can lead to an exit from or excommunication from church spaces and community that creates painful isolation. What if, instead, we encourage curious exploration--if we ask, what is the story that brought you here? What is your theology, what are your own beliefs? Discovering answers to these questions are a vital part of identity formation and personal integrity.
I provide a safe and nonjudgmental space to process, to attend to wounds or crises of faith without agenda or expectation. A key part of any constructive, intentional examination of faith is the reconstruction of one's own personal connection with self and identity. We will work towards a self-compassionate reorientation to your intuition and values.
$150 per 50 min session
Couples Counseling
When you are in a committed partnership, any issue you’ve ever had is likely to make an appearance in the relationship. I invite you to not only expect deep adversity, but to start to see it as a potentially life changing opportunity for personal and relational growth.
In couples counseling, we look at how our individual narratives, past and present, both tangle and collide. We wonder what our experiences in our formative years taught us about being close with another? Are we able to find true repair and reconciliation in conflict? Do we have emotional intimacy, or know how to build it? Can we trust each other with access to the most tender parts of us?
These are foundational, game-changing conversations and challenges. You will ‘learn’ each other, see each other with new eyes, and find rich and real connection. You will work towards compassionate awareness and understanding of each other's stories and tap into a kind of empathy for the other that has the power to redefine what it means to love.
$160-$225 per 60-80 min session as needed